Yes, I am a mum of two, beautiful, inside out daughters, 18 and 14. We are a team but I don't rely on them to make me happy, no pressure. I am not an umbrella mum at all, from very early I used to tell them "do your life" I want them to live it fully and not to wait if there is no reason why they should. I don't believe that they're mine, I made them for sure but I have tried to raise them to be their own person, mature, independent, curious and caring. I am quite proud of the result so far. Those two are some of the rarest people that know me inside out, I have never hidden my past so they could understand me wholly. We get on very well and I love them to bits, I am proud to be their mum and I believe and hope that they are proud to have me as a mother.
Now, my dilemma is that my oldest is leaving for university in September and that I am emotionally not ready at all. I know it is great and I am so happy she is going to have a real campus experience, I didn't have that, it is not like that in France and I did not want to go to university anyway. I envy their love of school, they like it, they even sometimes missed it while on holiday, nothing like what I went through at all.
I know, that I have to come to terms with the fact that now that my daughter is 18, she is on her own life path and that means leaving home and experience the first step of her independent life. I know that I have to let go and that she is a mature young woman, that she has a very safe group of friends and that she will be wise in her new adventures, but like all parents it is not her that I do not trust, it's the outside world.
It is hard to see your kids leave especially when you have raised them on your own. I have less than two months to get used to the idea as I will be taking her to university in September. I know that I am not really losing my daughter and that we are actually going to enter a new phase in our relationship but I already miss her sassiness and our laughter. Thanks god I have two daughters and I still have my youngest who so far still needs her "mummy", fours years to go and I will be writing the same kind of post again.
I am quite happy I have always kept in mind that I am a woman before being a mum and I made sure to have a life. True, it is good to be able to do whatever I want whenever I feel like it because the girls don't need me 24/7 but ouchhhhh I didn't know that could be this painful. I will of course comfort myself seeing her grow from afar but I will bribe her back home with nice meals, that always works.