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It is not easy to be a woman but it's worth it

At 48 years old, I am still learning about this human envelope that is my body. I wish I had had a user manual back in the day as being a woman is a rollercoaster and I have had times in my life when I really thought WTF.

Pity, I do not remember the early times when you go carefree, when you do not care about your looks until society gets you in its spider web. The pressure put on young girls is dangerous, we should be left alone and not subjected to an idealised image of what a woman should be knowing that we, thanks god, do not all look the same. We should instead be taught to embrace our bodies at a very early age and celebrate it. I was detached from my body for a very long time, not really caring nor worrying about other people's opinions, I had other things to deal with at the time. Still, when my curves and periods appeared I felt lost.

I didn't have that talk with my mum so it wasn't a pleasant time. I used to have awful traumatising periods, so I was stressed half of the month in anticipation and then throughout having my periods. I just hated my body, it was more pain than fun.

I finally got to liking it around my early twenties, my periods were better when I started taking the pill and I finally started seeing myself and enjoying my body. Unfortunately, now that I know, I would have liked to know more about sex and masturbation, I would have had more fun. Back in the days, the mum/daughter sex talk was out of the question, I don't even think I ever talked about sex with my mother.

Today, at 48, I am premenopausal and I am trying to go on with it the best way I can. I stopped taking medicine after the birth of my second daughter, that was 15 years ago. No more pill, nothing, not even when I have painful periods. I use a hot bottle on my stomach and try to relax, it works well. I cannot stand the idea of swallowing medicine anymore, I just don't trust pharmaceutical companies, I now try to find a natural solution to my pain.

So, yes I think I am at the best time with my human envelope, we went through tough times together and I feel like I am taking good care of it. So far, I went through a long illness, 2 pregnancies, 2 cancer scares and I am doing ok.

For me modelling this scarred body and getting work is a victory and as long as I can, I will show it off as my imperfections are beautiful.

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